katiemyladyy:

clashing-oceans:

Why aren’t we talking about Dylan sprouse have you SEEN his tweets?

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GUYS SERIOUSLY 
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G U Y S
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we could have had a singing career.

steelydanifesto:

If you hold a cat up to a mirror and say “na” 40 times, Tomas Kalnoky will appear to you and complain about Victory Records. 

gottaletitthappen:

gabyjayy:

remyetienelebeau:

Bob’s Burgers Live Script Read at the Irenic

i already thought bob’s burgers was the best animation i have ever seen, but man, the cast reading the script live makes it a thousand times funnier

AMAZINGGG

THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING EVER

shadowstep-of-bast:

overlypolitebisexual:

irrevocablybee:

What society has come to

UGH I HATE BEING ABLE TO FIND ANY INFORMATION I NEED ONLINE UGHHH TECHNOLOGY IS BAD BURN THE INTERNET LET US GO BACK TO A SIMPLER TIME BEFORE ELECTRICITY WHEN WE COULD ALL DIE EVERY TIME WE GOT A COLD


ive been waiting to use this picture

shadowstep-of-bast:

overlypolitebisexual:

irrevocablybee:

What society has come to

UGH I HATE BEING ABLE TO FIND ANY INFORMATION I NEED ONLINE UGHHH TECHNOLOGY IS BAD BURN THE INTERNET LET US GO BACK TO A SIMPLER TIME BEFORE ELECTRICITY WHEN WE COULD ALL DIE EVERY TIME WE GOT A COLD

ive been waiting to use this picture

(Source: supergengi)

and-im-dooneese:

"Okay, now open the case" - Kristen Wiig in SNL’s Deal Or No Deal 

sharkchunks:

fennecwolfox:

oeste:

misterhippity:

I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.
So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.

i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled
so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god

I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.
Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.

I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.
Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?

sharkchunks:

fennecwolfox:

oeste:

misterhippity:

I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.

So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.

i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled

so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god

I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.

Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.

I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.

Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?

anartisticanomaly:

phantomcat94:

meefling:

You Aren’t Boring I Just Suck At Conversations I’m Sorry: a novel by me

I’m Not Ignoring You I Just Don’t Know What To Say: a sequel by me

I Feel Like I have Nothing Interesting To Say So I Don’t Say Anything At All And I’m Really Sorry Don’t Stop Talking To Me: the trilogy.

sniffing:

me trying to participate in sports

yolownly:

homeostasis-central:

richwhitelesbian:

we need some new and more powerful swears

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the elder swear

lipgloss-in-my-veins:

“The closer he looks at the child, the less he sees … The more he looks at it, there’s nothing there. He fears that the more you look at him the less you see. There isn’t anything there.” - John Hughes

i always wondered what the fuck this scene was about

(Source: davidfincherings)

threadsinthistapestry:

Old Spice what the fuck

(Source: inthelightinthesound)

trust:

finally a career for me

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(Source: trust)

koopa-scooper:

there can only be one

koopa-scooper:

there can only be one

(Source: davesprite)

I was making fun of how my mom can’t pronounce german words, and she was like, “well I bet you can’t pronounce French words right either” and I just responded “Oui Oui baguette Eiffel Tower”

frecklesrex:

vulcanprodigy:

chokinghazard:

?????

i can’t decide if it’s 1:40 pm or 1:40 am but it doesn’t matter because it’s hilarious both ways

It’s 1:40am. These were taken after they had been at a bar together.

(Source: )